Friday, July 10, 2009

Anticipation Is Everything

The moment waiting for the guest-of-honor to arrive at the birthday party. Everyone rustling and bustling, eating and drinking, talking and moving about... just waiting for that very second to come. They are all on the tips of their toes, the edges of their seats. Talking muffled and hushed listening intently for the sound of feet nearing or the jingle of keys unlocking. Just so we can all hide and then fall into embrace the newly arrived with screams of 'SURPISE'.

The moment standing in line waiting for the ride to come to an end so you can get on. Watching the patrons already on it wondering why the hell their ride is lasting so long. You count the people ahead of you in line for the thrid time making sure this next time... this is your time. Watching the operator hit the controls and just seeing the stupid ride change directions instead of halting. When it finally stops wishing the kids would just got off already so that the gate will open and you will be let in for your turn. Sitting down in the seat and waiting for all the patrons to be checked in apropriately and yes you are securely fastened, as well... and finally you feel it jolt and ease forward for your turn.

The moment when you meet just the right person and everything clicks. You stare into their eyes wondering if it's safe. It's going through the motions... meeting the first time and breaking the ice, exchanging numbers and waiting for the phone call follow-up, the second meeting - praying to still have that chemistry and when you're touching for the first time you feel the hairs on your arms stand at attention, the kiss that melts you because their lips feel just as breath-taking on yours as you ever could have imagined and thank you god they know how to use them, falling into bed with them and not hurting anyone on the way down and nearing the climax during sex - and thanking god you got to have one this time.

Its all so close you can taste it. It makes your heart race and your body wiggle. But what do you do in that moment when it finally arrives? Do you let the whole experience crash over you like a much too large wave at the ocean's shore... or do you jump into it and ride it out until you've experienced every last joy it could give.

You don't want to let it crash, you don't want it to drop, you can't fall now... you must find balance. Aniticipation is everything. It can make or break you. Wanting so hard to have it. Knowing it should come and telling yourself... it will come! And then it does come and it leaves you gasping for air and beating heart be-stilled.

I just had my moment. I'm still speechless ... what to do in my moment ... but smile. I knew you would come.

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