Saturday, December 19, 2009

Too Long...

It has been a while since I have posted... but I just can't fathom the idea of writing another depressing post. I need to feel happy for a few minutes so I can post something on a more positive note.

I'm moving into a place all on my own, finally. Yes, the place I live now is mine, but I have been sharing. I am no longer willing to share. People have repeatedly let me down, and I am ready to stop relying on anyone but myself. So with working four jobs, the gym, and moving... I find moments to catch my breath very rare, few and far between.

Once I get settled I will be alone whenever I am not working. I will need to find myself, to keep my center, hold my gravity and not let go. I have been alone before and I fell into a deep depression. This time, I will walk in with medication. I got off them when I was strong, but my therapist reminds me... depression is chemical and I need help right now. So, I will go back on them for now. I will have to use my strengths, any and all of them. I will have to use what I know and love, work with it to keep me whole and safe.

I am a different person than I was when I was 16, different than I was last year, last month, and even two days ago. I am eternally evolving and getting stronger even in my weaknesses. I just have to forge on and keep reminding myself of my strengths.

Hugs to all of you who have continued to support me through this past year... and to those who I believe will continue to support me in months to come. I may have been able to make it without some of you, but I'm glad I didn't have to. Thank you blogger friends... and hopefully a good news post will happen soon!

1 comment:

  1. Sending a few cheers your way...catch 'em! :)